[He wanted to protest, the weak grunt that came from him sounded like one mixed with his ever present need to confirm his next "order". His eyes drifted to the cast Rose's wrist was encased in and the guilt dropped heavier in the pit of his stomach.]
I... I'm...
["Fine" is what he wanted to say, close to demonstrating the fact by forcing himself to sit up on the bed he rested on. Resting his palm flat against the surface of it, he put his strength into his wrist to lift himself.]
Ngh... gh--! [Dizziness and searing pain to overcome him again and cause his strength to give under his weight. He wasn't fine. But even if he succeeded in convincing her, lying to her always felt... so wrong.]
... I'm... sorry. [For lying? For hurting her? Both, really but he didn't specify. He could barely even meet her gaze after all.]
[Of course his first action is to apologize. Of course he’s going to try to refute everything that she just said. He’s a bloody idiot!]
[Rose doesn’t move. Rose doesn’t blink. Rose doesn’t do anything but frown. She might be short and fragile, but right now she looks as strong as a fortress. Nobody is getting past her, and Takame isn’t getting out of this one.]
You don’t need to apologize. What you do need to do is rest. You are not to push yourself, am I clear?
Yes... I understand. [He knows better by now than to disregard her wishes when she's this serious. And in this situation where he can barely move.
He could, though. It was all a matter of the mind. If he willed himself to move, he could leave the moment she rightfully turned her back on him. Or perhaps won't out of fear of him.
As much as he wanted to push that thought away, it only got louder when he looked at her arm again.] ... Are you alright?
[Fear of him? No. Fear for him? Yes. She knows the moment she averts her eyes, he’ll be gone, and he’ll push himself beyond his limits to make that happen. It’s not a risk that she feels willing to take.]
Physically? Yes. My arm got hurt, but I’ll manage. I’ve survived worse.
[She survived Zenos, if that says anything.]
I don’t think this experience is going to leave me any time soon.
... I-- ["am the one who hurt your arm. You wouldn't have been injured if not for me." It's what he wanted to say. He knew damn well it's not what she wanted to hear, but the fact that that was the case was...
So very much to bear... He knew she was a resilient woman, strong of spirit, but. It didn't eliminate the guilt and shame.]
... Nor will it leave me. [Considering how badly he screwed up. With a small sigh he slowly stretched his arm out before him, the one in the injured side. The only indication of pain that could be read was the way his eyes narrowed each time he tried to curl his hand into a fist.]
[‘Strong of spirit,’ that’s a good laugh. Rose has seen and endured more than she ever thought she would, but that didn’t mean that she’s strong. Her coping mechanisms are...poor, and it’s only a matter of time before she pushes herself too much, with catastrophic consequences.]
[After being so harsh to Takame, her expression softens. She looks down.]
I don’t know, but there was something there that wasn’t of this world.
[Her memories of the incident are muddled. She remembers walking in, and then Takame was on top of her and her wrist was broken. Nothing between the two.]
[There was no point in hiding it. Though to say she did him harm would be a lie. Not for lack of trying, but simply lack of physical prowess. Whoever or whatever tried to attack him couldn't stop that.
She may not believe what else he shares, but while he wasn't hiding things...]
Whatever presence inhabited that place... took control of your body somehow.
[Rose frowns. She isn’t very happy right now, but she doesn’t think Takame is lying, either. Her body getting possessed would explain why she’s missing so many memories. And there was something...tugging at her when she entered that place. Is it still tugging at her now?]
[She can’t be sure. And it scares her.]
...I see. That explains things, then. When we entered, something felt like it was creeping into mind and...
[It attacked her weaknesses. Her insecurities.]
I’m sorry. Rest assured, I would never purposefully attack you.
... You've no need to apologize. It was not your fault. [Though Takame wouldn't blame Rose if she chose to attack him of her own volition. He would take the full blame for both of them getting injured either way.
But the mention of something creeping into her mind brought up a few things that she confessed while possessed by that phantom.
"All I had to do was say a few things about how she’d hurt her friends when she transformed into a Lightwarden."
He can't move his body much, but that reminder made his tail give an agitated twitch.]
... Rose. [His tone is much more stern. He would regret this, probably. Because he had no right to question her given what he did, but he couldn't ignore it.] Have you been alright since defeating the Lightwardens you have thus far?
[Rose isn’t one to blame herself needlessly, but even she feels this is partially her fault. It’s terrifying, to think how easily she could be taken over. What if what they met isn’t the only ghost out there?]
[Takame’s question stops her dead in her tracks. She had been avoiding thinking about it. She had also avoided talking about it. To anyone. Which is what makes it so surprising that Takame knows.]
[There’s a long pause before she responds. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t bring herself to look him in the eyes.]
They did. [Takame really wished he could move now, if only so he could look at Rose directly. A voice in the back of his mind endlessly shouted you haven't the right but something else in him, not unlike a part that came out when Hina or Zhian ended up injured won out.]
Rose... what is happening to you? Is what they said true? Are you... are you transforming into a Lightwarden?
[She starts. How is she supposed to respond to this? Lying is always an option, but she isn’t very good at it, and Takame has probably already picked up on the fact that she’s upset.]
[There’s no use denying it if he already knows. Still, she can’t bring herself to look him in the eyes.]
Yes. The light I’m absorbing hasn’t been negated. There’s a chance I’ll be able to hold it, and prevent the transformation, but there’s no guarantee.
Rose... [A "chance" wouldn't be good enough even if Takame could not see how bad her aether looked. He's honestly shocked she's been able to hold it back this long, he can only assume it was due to her experience with conjury, but conjecture meant nothing.
[Seeing Takame like this hurts; his concern is palpable, and she can’t blame him. That she’s stayed as long as she can without incident is a miracle. She frowns and bows her head down.]
[This is not a question she wants to answer, but she doesn’t have a choice.]
I saw no need. Even if I had told the others, I doubt they could do anything to prevent it.
Still...! [The word comes out slightly strained, it was still a struggle for him to exert himself even as much as raising his voice a bit.
And yet. He's been on the first long enough to know how persistent it is to be rid of the primordial light. Many have tried, all have failed. Even returning the night sky through Rose's blessing wasn't enough to purge it, only to hide it. And at what cost but someone so dear to him?]
... You need not suffer in silence. Surely... there must be something that can be done. A Cleric of these woods may know of some remedy, perhaps the Exarch... [He may be listing options but he knows as well as anyone that the chances of anyone succeeding in this are low. Even after all this time he wasn't good at feigning optimism.]
[It comes out instinctively, and for a moment Rose forgets what their conversation is about. For all of Takame’s usual silence, he’s quite loud now. When she doesn’t want him to be. When he’s talking about something she doesn’t want to think about.]
[It’s not that she wants to become a Lightwarden...! She just doesn’t have a choice.]
Urianger seems to have an idea of how to counter it.
Mm. [He folded immediately, not wanting to cause Rose any more stress or pain than she already felt.
Kami, he'd caused her physical harm and now he was only making it worse. But still... still.]
He may know, but he has yet to share this information? [There's some bite to his tone. Why withhold something that could only be beneficial? He knows very little about Urianger, but if the man knew this was happening and cared as deeply for this shard and the Scions as he claimed, why stay silent?]
[Rose merely shakes her head. Trying to explain Urianger to others is difficult. Trying to understand Urianger herself is difficult. She still doesn’t fully trust him, truth be told.]
Yes, that’s what he claims, anyway. Urianger has always been enigmatic, and getting information of any sort out of him is a feat. Whatever he knows, he doesn’t feel the need to tell us.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[He wanted to protest, the weak grunt that came from him sounded like one mixed with his ever present need to confirm his next "order". His eyes drifted to the cast Rose's wrist was encased in and the guilt dropped heavier in the pit of his stomach.]
I... I'm...
["Fine" is what he wanted to say, close to demonstrating the fact by forcing himself to sit up on the bed he rested on. Resting his palm flat against the surface of it, he put his strength into his wrist to lift himself.]
Ngh... gh--! [Dizziness and searing pain to overcome him again and cause his strength to give under his weight. He wasn't fine. But even if he succeeded in convincing her, lying to her always felt... so wrong.]
... I'm... sorry. [For lying? For hurting her? Both, really but he didn't specify. He could barely even meet her gaze after all.]
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[Rose doesn’t move. Rose doesn’t blink. Rose doesn’t do anything but frown. She might be short and fragile, but right now she looks as strong as a fortress. Nobody is getting past her, and Takame isn’t getting out of this one.]
You don’t need to apologize. What you do need to do is rest. You are not to push yourself, am I clear?
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He could, though. It was all a matter of the mind. If he willed himself to move, he could leave the moment she rightfully turned her back on him. Or perhaps won't out of fear of him.
As much as he wanted to push that thought away, it only got louder when he looked at her arm again.] ... Are you alright?
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[Fear of him? No. Fear for him? Yes. She knows the moment she averts her eyes, he’ll be gone, and he’ll push himself beyond his limits to make that happen. It’s not a risk that she feels willing to take.]
Physically? Yes. My arm got hurt, but I’ll manage. I’ve survived worse.
[She survived Zenos, if that says anything.]
I don’t think this experience is going to leave me any time soon.
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So very much to bear... He knew she was a resilient woman, strong of spirit, but. It didn't eliminate the guilt and shame.]
... Nor will it leave me. [Considering how badly he screwed up. With a small sigh he slowly stretched his arm out before him, the one in the injured side. The only indication of pain that could be read was the way his eyes narrowed each time he tried to curl his hand into a fist.]
... what happened?
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[After being so harsh to Takame, her expression softens. She looks down.]
I don’t know, but there was something there that wasn’t of this world.
[Her memories of the incident are muddled. She remembers walking in, and then Takame was on top of her and her wrist was broken. Nothing between the two.]
Tell me, did I attack you?
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[There was no point in hiding it. Though to say she did him harm would be a lie. Not for lack of trying, but simply lack of physical prowess. Whoever or whatever tried to attack him couldn't stop that.
She may not believe what else he shares, but while he wasn't hiding things...]
Whatever presence inhabited that place... took control of your body somehow.
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[She can’t be sure. And it scares her.]
...I see. That explains things, then. When we entered, something felt like it was creeping into mind and...
[It attacked her weaknesses. Her insecurities.]
I’m sorry. Rest assured, I would never purposefully attack you.
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But the mention of something creeping into her mind brought up a few things that she confessed while possessed by that phantom.
"All I had to do was say a few things about how she’d hurt her friends when she transformed into a Lightwarden."
He can't move his body much, but that reminder made his tail give an agitated twitch.]
... Rose. [His tone is much more stern. He would regret this, probably. Because he had no right to question her given what he did, but he couldn't ignore it.] Have you been alright since defeating the Lightwardens you have thus far?
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[Takame’s question stops her dead in her tracks. She had been avoiding thinking about it. She had also avoided talking about it. To anyone. Which is what makes it so surprising that Takame knows.]
[There’s a long pause before she responds. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t bring herself to look him in the eyes.]
...I see, the ghost said something, didn’t they?
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Rose... what is happening to you? Is what they said true? Are you... are you transforming into a Lightwarden?
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[She starts. How is she supposed to respond to this? Lying is always an option, but she isn’t very good at it, and Takame has probably already picked up on the fact that she’s upset.]
[There’s no use denying it if he already knows. Still, she can’t bring herself to look him in the eyes.]
Yes. The light I’m absorbing hasn’t been negated. There’s a chance I’ll be able to hold it, and prevent the transformation, but there’s no guarantee.
a month and a half later... ;_;
His next words are spoken without thinking.]
Why have you not told anyone about this?
<3
[This is not a question she wants to answer, but she doesn’t have a choice.]
I saw no need. Even if I had told the others, I doubt they could do anything to prevent it.
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And yet. He's been on the first long enough to know how persistent it is to be rid of the primordial light. Many have tried, all have failed. Even returning the night sky through Rose's blessing wasn't enough to purge it, only to hide it. And at what cost but someone so dear to him?]
... You need not suffer in silence. Surely... there must be something that can be done. A Cleric of these woods may know of some remedy, perhaps the Exarch... [He may be listing options but he knows as well as anyone that the chances of anyone succeeding in this are low. Even after all this time he wasn't good at feigning optimism.]
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[It comes out instinctively, and for a moment Rose forgets what their conversation is about. For all of Takame’s usual silence, he’s quite loud now. When she doesn’t want him to be. When he’s talking about something she doesn’t want to think about.]
[It’s not that she wants to become a Lightwarden...! She just doesn’t have a choice.]
Urianger seems to have an idea of how to counter it.
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Kami, he'd caused her physical harm and now he was only making it worse. But still... still.]
He may know, but he has yet to share this information? [There's some bite to his tone. Why withhold something that could only be beneficial? He knows very little about Urianger, but if the man knew this was happening and cared as deeply for this shard and the Scions as he claimed, why stay silent?]
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Yes, that’s what he claims, anyway. Urianger has always been enigmatic, and getting information of any sort out of him is a feat. Whatever he knows, he doesn’t feel the need to tell us.
[‘Or tell me.’]
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You'll forgive me, I pray, but if that is the truth he does not sound like a trustworthy man.
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You are correct, he is not.
[She’s not going to even bother mentioning the Warriors of Darkness incident. Takame might actually kill the man.]